“I’m thin, but I’m not happy,” said a client to me.
Despite the promise of thin = happy in our culture, so many women find this isn’t necessarily the case. Of course, I’ve also heard from clients about how happy they were “that time I did lose weight.” However, doesn’t this situation lead a person to fear weight gain and thus back to the world of unhappiness. This is especially the case when weight loss has led to future weight gain.
Happiness doesn’t come from how you look on the outside, it comes from how you feel on the inside. I know that most of you know this to be true. I would venture to say that all of you know this, but may have forgotten it as you strive to diet and lose weight.
Explore your history with weight loss.
When you did lose weight, perhaps you had a constant fear that you would gain it back again. It may have actually been that fear that caused you to gain back the weight. Or you gained the weight back because 98% of dieters do and you are one of them. Maybe you celebrated weight loss by eating things you didn’t when you were on the diet. Perhaps your life didn’t change. You still felt scared, hurt, sad, numb, anxious, depressed, fat.
Life doesn’t start when you lose weight.
Life is now. All the feelings you have now, will still be there when you lose weight. They don’t disappear with the weight loss, just like they don’t disappear when you are bingeing, purging or starving yourself.
Gain Yourself.
When you stop the diet cycle (or bingeing, purging, starving), you have the opportunity to find out what is really bothering you. When you push down “negative” feelings, you also push down positive ones. When you let yourself feel your feelings, you’re less likely to obsess about food and your body. Then you can start really living. You will feel negative feelings but you will also feel more love, joy and happiness!