You find yourself in front of the refrigerator. Again. “Why am I here?” you wonder. You recognize that you aren’t hungry or maybe you convince yourself that you are even though it wasn’t that long ago since you last ate.
You look around the refrigerator and the cupboards filled with food and don’t find anything appealing. After all, you don’t keep “bad” food in the house because you’re afraid you’ll eat it and worse, never stop. So you either eat the unsatisfying food once again or you break away in search of what you really want. Either way, you know that eventually, you will eat all the foods you have been denying yourself.
But you don’t trust yourself with food so when you finally do eat what you really crave, always the foods you have deemed as forbidden, you ravish them in that familiar out-of-control way. They taste so good. You can’t stop. You never allow yourself to eat them and so you can’t seem to get enough.
“This is why I never let myself eat these foods!” you determine. You criticize yourself until you swear off those “bad” foods once again. Armed with a renewed sense of the diet mission, you feel relief.
However, in the back of your mind, lingering even more strongly than before, is the knowledge that you will find yourself right back here again soon.
Until you change one thing…
A large part of your binge eating is caused by a reaction to restricting or dieting. The binge part of you sees this as starvation and rebels! It won’t put up with it. It is rebelling against that restrictive, eating disorder part of you and until it gets what it needs, it will keep coming back.