I used to be a lone business owner. For years, I worked on my business all by myself. This is what I was taught after all. I was the only one I could count on; I had to do it alone.
Finally, one day I realized that I didn’t want to be alone in it anymore. I could do it. I could continue to work steadily on my business and it would grow. However, I also knew that it wouldn’t grow as quickly as if I had help and I wouldn’t be able to support all the people I wanted to support. Besides, I was tired of doing so much on my own. I wanted to count on others too.
So I joined a business group coaching program. I met amazing small business owners all offering various services to individuals. I found a safe place to get the community and help I needed and wanted. I highly recommend not doing it all alone. Help, support and community are so important and make life more fun!
This past weekend was the in-person retreat for this group coaching program. For three solid days, we work on our businesses and connect with others. On day 4, it all changes. They call it shifting the inner game. I call it the emotional healing day. The inner game is all the internal stuff. It is the emotions, the fears, the old beliefs that you keep hidden, stuck or shut down. It’s the stuff that keeps you from fully living the life you want. We all have them and day 4 was the day to let them be seen and healed.
As a mental health therapist, I love this day! It is my favorite and I look forward to it.
During the previous 3 days, while working on my business, I was also getting triggered. it wasn’t too bad. Just here and there people would say things or interactions would happen that triggered old feelings. This is no different than any other relationships. Relationships trigger us and that is okay.
For me, the triggers were from old feelings from childhood. I had feelings of shame around thinking I was stupid. I had feelings of sadness and loneliness from feeling misunderstood and invisible. All this was triggered over the weekend. On the shifting your inner game day, all these feelings got the attention they have been dying for – for over 40 years of my life!
The short of it is this: I got to be seen and loved in the places that I felt the most pain! It was like the child part of me was exposed but instead of feeling alone and unlovable, I received expressions of love from each person in the room. I let it all in. It was very healing!
I write articles for a blog “More of Me to Love” (http://moreofmetolove.com/) which is all about feeling good in your body, no matter what size you are!
More of Me to Love is a wonderful expression and stand to take around your body image and feeling good in it. Last weekend, I realized that More of Me to Love is also about loving the inside too. Deep down, so many of us feel unlovable, unworthy and ashamed of ourselves. The more you show people that you feel safe with how you really feel inside and invite them to love you in that place, the more there is available for you and others to love. Love is not for the skinny or the worthy or the perfect or the happy.
Love is for all shapes and sizes, for sadness and fear, anger and hurt, loneliness and shame. These are the places that need love the most and soak it up when it is given. The more you allow yourself to be fully who you are, the more there is for you and for me to love!
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