Are you married to weight loss?
Do you have an inner voice that talks weight loss all the time? Is this voice controlling what you eat, what you think about food and your body, and how you feel about yourself? Do you often feel as though your closest relationship is with this voice of never-good-enough-until-you-lose-weight?
If so, you may be married to weight loss.
It’s hard to get a complete divorce from wanting to lose weight. Culture places extreme emphasis on weight and appearance, especially for women. We see ample messages of how important it is to be thin, beautiful, sexy, successful, doing-it-all …i.e. perfect. It’s basically impossible to escape.
So we become married to the desire to lose weight. It becomes our partner in obtaining “good” status. It helps us fit in and belong, something that’s extremely important for we humans.
So if you’re married to weight loss, let’s talk about what this marriage is doing for you…
The desire to lose weight reminds you that you’re not good enough. It doesn’t accept you but demands change. It doesn’t understand your feelings but wants to fix them. It doesn’t listen to your true desires and what’s really important to you, it keeps you focused on a dislike (even hate) for your body. All of this translates to “you are not enough.”
Your weight loss husband/wife doesn’t admit that weight loss isn’t in your control! Therefore, the only way to keep this façade going is to blame you for the lack of weight loss.
Therefore, your weight loss spouse is critical, controlling, blaming, shaming, and even abusive.
It doesn’t show you love, kindness, gratitude, or acceptance. Yet these are the very things you need!
Your partnership with weight loss convinces you that you’ll receive belonging and acceptance if you are thin. Yet if you really think about it… have you really received acceptance and love from weight loss? Even if you think “yes, I have Anne,” is it worth constantly worrying about your weight to maintain?
In other words, your weight loss partner tells you that’s the only way you will be good enough. Don’t you want to be good enough for many other reasons instead?
Staying married to weight loss will continue to bring the same critical and abusive thoughts to your mind. It will continue to control you and pester you into a change that is impossible to achieve.
No wonder you feel like a failure!
What can you do? Divorce the desire for weight loss!
This won’t be easy (or it might be if you’re really sick and tired of it!). After all, you’ve invested a lot of time and money into this relationship. It will take time and some tears are likely to be shed as you go through the divorce process.
In the end, it will be worth it! You’ll finally be rid of the criticism, the judgement, the non-acceptance of who you are and who you want to be. You’ll be able to accept yourself and move on from the pain of spending so much time and effort doing the same thing over and over again without any positive, permanent results.
Life after divorce from weight loss desires can be a very good life indeed. When you’re ready to start your divorce process, get help. Those tears that need to be shed will help you grow and change into the person you truly desire. Help to go through it will make it easier!
Cheers to a new, future life with your new partner, Self-Love and Acceptance!
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