“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Many who come in to work with me are interested in losing weight. It is no surprise. After all, our society tends to judge us based on the size of our body. Size discrimination is rampant and perceived as acceptable.

If you are reading this newsletter, you probably have some experience with the fact that diets don’t work! Perhaps you have tried diet after diet with no long term success. Perhaps you aren’t on any specific diet, but you approach life with diet mentality. However, you feel more obsessed with food and you continue to hate your body. This is not healthy living and you can feel it.

Yet, with the focus on weight loss, you will continue to feel good or bad about yourself based on the number on the scale, how you see yourself in the mirror, or how your clothes fit. This might even lead you on the fast track back to dieting, even if you know it won’t work

So, how can you move your focus from weight loss to healthy, non-diet living?

A paradigm shift.

According to Wikipedia, a paradigm shift is defined as: “the term first used by Thomas Kuhn in 1962 to describe a change in basic assumptions within the ruling theory of science. The term “paradigm shift” has found uses in other contexts, representing the notion of a major change in a certain thought-pattern — a radical change in personal beliefs, complex systems or organizations, replacing the former way of thinking or organizing with a radically different way of thinking or organizing.”
Be radical… shift your thinking from dieting to no more dieting… for your health. You may end up surrounded by friends who don’t get it and still encourage you to diet or try the next fad that comes along. Trust yourself. You know that diets don’t work. Create that shift and teach your friends to do the same with your results.

Here are some examples of creating a paradigm shift from diet thinking to non diet thinking:

IssueDiet ThinkingNonDiet Thinking
ProgressWeight lossWhen I don’t limit
myself by dieting, I feel
more freedom around
food and less obsessed with how I look. I usually eat less because I give myself exactly what I want. I am not controlled by a diet.
Self and Other AcceptanceI am more acceptable when I am thin. People like me more when I am thin.I am learning to accept myself and my body just the way I am. My friends and family love and accept me the way I am.
HealthBeing thin is healthyHealth is possible at any size. (see my article “Health at any size is possible”) Freedom from dieting and freedom from hatred of my body feels healthy and good.
ExerciseNo pain, no gain; should and shouldn’t thinkingI choose activities that I enjoy and are fun. I feel more energy and other benefits from exercising that feel good.
FoodIs the enemy, either good or bad for meTastes good and I only eat what I enjoy. Food is not good or bad, it if fuel for my body.
Food TalkIs it good for me or bad for me?What do I want?
ThoughtsBlack and white thinking; all good or all bad.I can have it if I want it; I can save it for later if I don’t want it or am too full to eat it now.
HungerI eat out of reaction, not because I am hungryI eat when I’m hungry, I eat what I want, and I stop before I’m full. (see my article “Put your hunger on the scale”)
SuccessLost weightI feel good about myself, my body, my relationship with food. I spend much less energy and time thinking negatively about food.
EmotionsI eat to deal with feelings or uncomfortable situationsIt is okay to have and express my emotions. Emotions are good and natural.

Making these paradigm shifts may take time and practice. Paired with many of the other suggestions from my newsletters (link to my website for a list of newsletters and other resources), your thinking and feelings toward food and your body will naturally shift.

Some statements of change I have heard from clients are: “I used to go to bed at night and wake up in the morning thinking about how much I hated my body. I no longer do that.”, “I thought I was as big as a house, but now I am more realistic about my body and don’t think about it nearly as much.”, “Feeling my feelings reminds me that I’m alive.”

This week try to notice your thoughts around the above issues and see if you can start your paradigm shift. I suggest saying the new, non diet thinking concepts out loud so you can hear them as well as say them. If it doesn’t fit right the first time, keep trying it on. After all, changes in thinking are not all or nothing, rather a process.