Self Criticism: The Very Loud Killer of Souls, Part 2 A few weeks ago I wrote about your critical voice. I talked about how it is probably the most harmful little voice you have in your head. Yup, it’s true. Despite what you have been told, being critical and hard on yourself does not motivate […]
Category Archives: Dieting
07
Sep
Sep
If I had a magic therapy wand I would wave it around and magically make one very loud killer disappear from each person: Self Criticism! Self criticism: aka self judgment, aka the critical voice, aka beating yourself up. Each of these is deadly and has no place in your life. Being critical of yourself is […]
16
Jun
Jun
If You are Going to Eat It, You May as Well Taste It If you are a compulsive overeater, you may tend to shovel food down without even tasting it. Have you ever eaten an entire meal and still felt hungry afterwards? This is because you didn’t eat what you really wanted or didn’t take […]
Body Shame, Dieting, Family, Food Is Not The Enemy
Critically Think Your Way to Feeling Good about Yourself
15
Jun
Jun
An acquaintance of mine, who knows what I do for a living and partially understands it, likes to tell me what he knows about the study of weight, food, etc. It is his way of bonding with me and supporting me. I appreciate it. Yet because he only partially understands, I often tense a little […]
28
May
May
What do these have to do with eating disorders? “In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.” -Benjamin Franklin I believe in living a healthy life. I believe in eating healthy and exercising for health. I also believe in emotional health and I believe emotional health is as important (if not more so) […]
06
May
May
We all want to fit in. It is natural and normal. It is human. We need each other because we are social beings. Even if you are shy or have social anxiety, you need a tribe of people – a place you fit in. In a society where thin is in and any other body […]
07
Apr
Apr
Food is fuel for your body. It gives you the energy you need to go through your day, to work, to play, to study, to parent, to enjoy life. You expend energy while you do those things and food helps you replace the energy so you can keep going. Without enough food, you get tired, […]
Body Shame, Dieting, Family, Food For Thought, Food Is Not The Enemy
Is Shame or Defense Your Protective Game?
19
Mar
Mar
An interesting moment occurred during the process group I lead. I want to share it with you because I believe you will also find it interesting. This is where it began… I said something provocative to the group members. It was provocative because I knew it would trigger at least one person. I promise – […]
08
Feb
Feb
I lead a group for women who struggle with food and body image issues. We meet once a week for an hour and a half. The group members skillfully support each other in learning how their struggles are not about food but about other underlying issues and feelings. I love being a part of this […]
Dieting, Family, Food For Thought, Food Is Not The Enemy
Understand Yourself and Your Eating Disorder
08
Aug
Aug
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a social psychology theory developed by Eric Berne, MD. I was taught this theory when I attended a counseling skills class before beginning graduate school. I found TA to be a very helpful tool in understanding myself, others and underlying emotions. When I teach it to clients, they also share a […]
Body Image, Dieting, Food For Thought, Food Is Not The Enemy
How to Make Your Eating Disorder Obsolete
18
Jul
Jul
Feel Your Feelings In June’s Newsletter “Throwing Up Your Feelings” I talked about various ways of coping with binging using purging behaviors. (click on the newsletter title to read more). Being caught in this binge purge cycle to any degree will not help you have a good relationship with food. When you purge, the binge […]
16
Jun
Jun
You just ate too much. You can feel it in your belly. It feels large, extra large, and is starting to hurt. You yell at yourself for eating too much. “I can’t believe I did that again”; “You are a fat pig, pathetic, gross.” You begin to panic and think up a way to get […]
Body Image, Body Shame, Dieting, Food For Thought, Food Is Not The Enemy
Your Eating Disorder Wants to Tell You Something
16
May
May
Your Eating Disorder Voice is communicating something. Your Healthy Voice is communicating something. Often, these “Voices” are competing with each other, but what are they really trying to say? I often talk to clients about the “Eating Disorder Voice” and the “Healthy Voice.” Part of the treatment for an eating disorder is to make the […]
15
Feb
Feb
Today you are reading Part 2 of Shame is the Enemy. Last month, I talked about shame and eating disorders.(If you missed it and want to correct that, or to just read it again, click here). This month, I continue the discussion. Because, shame really is the enemy… not food. Although some shame (aka: guilt) […]
15
Jan
Jan
Happy New Year! Ah, the time of year for a New Year’s resolution. “This year, I really will lose weight and get fit! I promise, I swear! This year is the year – for real this time.” How many times have you said that before? The New Year seems to give us a sense of […]
Body Shame, Dieting, Family, Food For Thought, Food Is Not The Enemy
Have a Different Kind of New Year
07
Jan
Jan
Last year, right around this time, my friend Tina suggested we spend the year focusing on learning about a topic to which we were unfamiliar or just wanted to explore more. We each chose our topic and decided that the full year would be dedicated to learning about this topic any way we chose. My […]
12
Nov
Nov
I have always affectionately named Thanksgiving as National Overeater’s Day. I consider this affectionate because it seems to be a day that overeating is accepted and even expected. Finally, overeaters get a day all for themselves, without the judgments of being “out of control” or “bad” for eating too much. Overeating is not bad. Everyone […]
28
Oct
Oct
My intern Tina and I were recently discussing the word FAT. She couldn’t imagine herself saying the word, believing it to be filled with shame, stereotypes and disgust. For me, it is merely a description, such as tall, brown hair, or big feet. (It wasn’t always this way for me and Tina is now changing […]
Body Image, Dieting, Food For Thought, Food Is Not The Enemy
When comments about your body trigger you
16
May
May
Living in a weight obsessed society is no picnic. You don’t need to have an eating disorder to feel the effects of it. It is very difficult to escape talk about dieting and weight, even if you don’t participate. It is familiar and common to talk about “my big butt” or to hear others chat […]
06
Apr
Apr
Mirror, Mirror When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Where do you focus your attention? If you are like most people who feel dissatisfied with their body, you look straight to the places you hate the most. You probably look only at these places and do so with a critical eye. What […]
07
Feb
Feb
In this newsletter edition, I will attempt to challenge your view of fat as being equal to unhealthy. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that all the information I had been fed about weight research was only one side of the coin. I didn’t even recognize that the coin fell on the side of […]
09
Oct
Oct
As men and women with food and body image challenges, we may learn to deny several parts of ourselves, including the part that eats. I think this is what diets teach us to do. Therefore, in order to heal your relationship to food and your body, you may need to reclaim your eater. The below […]
22
Aug
Aug
I often ask those who I work with: “If it’s not about food, what is it about?” Unless you are eating to fuel your body when you are hungry, you may be using food as a way to cope with your emotions. In other words, it isn’t about food, it is about something else. If […]
Dieting, Family, Food For Thought, Food Is Not The Enemy
Reduce the chance of eating disorders in children
10
Jul
Jul
I’m sure many of you could tell me at least one story about your mother, father or siblings doing or saying something that contributed to your poor relationship with food and your body. My mother used to buy food that only she could eat. For example, she bought green, seedless grapes for herself only. My […]